Chill Crock Pot Carnitas

Taco night. Do you have that friend that always suggest taco night? Are you that person?  Oh, it'll be soooo easy. We'll just have to get three different kinds of tortillas, make up the fillings (ground beef AND turkey, obvs), and then chop a gazillion things and put them in their individual bowls. Lettuce! Tomatoes! Jalapenos! Avocado! Onions! Olives! Cilantro! Salsa! OMG we forgot cheese, someone go to the store and get the cheese!

But this recipe can change that, you guys. This recipe can make taco night more chill. 

"But Laura, what if people like different kinds of tortillas??"
I don't care. Eat these with corn tortillas. You can get 400 for I think 75 cents.

"OMG Laura but the toppings? I want all the toppings in the little bowls?"
Shut up! Just make lazy girl guac and put some cilantro on top! Maybe Greek yogurt and a wedge of lime if you're being ambitious! Let the toppings go!

"Laura you're being really aggressive about taco night."
You're right - this is getting intense. I may be overreacting. But I digress.  

beauty pageant tacs

SO - what makes these good? 
1. They are easy. You dump five ingredients in a crock pot, go away, and return to them as some sort of carnitas genius. 
2. This is way more interesting that normal ground meat with taco seasoning. We're talking HERBS, people. SPICES! 
3.  The carnitas are so good, you don't even need a bunch of toppings! More chill!

Enough rambling- on with the recipe!

You'll need:
2 lbs boneless pork shoulder, trimmed (also knows as pork butt)
2 T dried oregano
2 T chili powder
2 T unsweetened cocoa powder
1 t garlic powder
1 jar of salsa (anywhere between 8 and 16 oz is fine) 
1 can of corn (drained)
1 can of black beans (drained)
 For the tacs:
Small corn tortillas
lime (cut in wedges)
Chopped fresh cilantro
Greek yogurt or sour cream
Lazy Girl Guac (recipe at the end!)

Place the pork shoulder in the crock pot, and generously season with salt and pepper. Smother the oregano, chili powder, cocoa powder, garlic powder, and salsa on the pork. This is NOT photogenic! Cook on low for 6-8 hours.

bay leaves optional

Like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so you shall become DERELICT!

After the crock pot has done all of the work, take two forks and shred the heck out of that pork. It should be really easy. Add the drained beans and corn to the crock pot, and a little salt to taste (duh!)

Okay, you're done! It's taco time! Serve in warm corn tortillas and top with cilantro, guacamole, a squeeze of lime, and Greek yogurt (or sour cream of course).

These got crazy with corn salsa

 If you're still reading this, now it is time to learn about Lazy Girl Guac. This is basically what I make if it is a week night and I need delicious guacamole immediately, with the least amount of effort required. 

You'll need:
2-3 ripe avocados
Juice of 1 lime
Garlic powder
Salt

Mash avocados in a bowl with 2 forks. Add a healthy pinch of salt and a healthy sprinkle of garlic powder (I never measure this so apologies for the ambiguity - start with 1/4 t and add more to taste!). Squeeze in the lime and mix it all together. Adjust seasonings to taste. DONE! Enjoy!

Easy Bacon Broccoli

"It's broccoli....but better!" (Trademark pending)

I noticed that my posts are primarily meat-based entrees, and that I should get some green stuff up here too. With bacon. However this is not aggressively trendy and bacony - it's just a nice addition that won't totally cancel out the fact that you're eating steamed broccoli. The real star of the show here is the apple cider vinegar - it lends the awesome tangy flavor that I think makes this worth eating. This has just a handful of ingredients and is pretty darn tasty. Give it a shot!

You'll need:
3 pieces of uncooked bacon, chopped
1/2 white onion, roughly chopped
2 heads of broccoli, stems removed and florets separated
1 or 2 T apple cider vinegar (start with one, and then decide if you'd like more!)
1/2 t garlic powder
Salt and pep (obvs)

Heat a large frying pan over medium high heat (I'd say a 7 out of 10). Add the chopped bacon and cook for about 3-4 minutes, stirring regularly.  Add the chopped onion and cook for about 5 minutes more, until onions soften and become a little translucent. Keep stirring! Add in the broccoli florets and a couple tablespoons of water to help get that steam going, and pop a lid on. When broc has reached your desired tenderness level (I like mine a little crisp - about 2-4 minutes of steaming) pop off the lid, add in the apple cider vinegar, sprinkling of garlic powder, salt and pep (to taste) and give it a mix. You're done! Now eat your vegetables!

Rosemary-Sriracha Chicken

I trespassed on private property in the early morning hours to make this rosemary-sriracha roasted chicken. 

Allow me to elaborate.  

It's 6:15 in the morning and I want to make this marinade before I go to work, so the chicken can sit in it and get delicious all day. I have all of the ingredients, but no rosemary. At my old apartment I could hop over to the traffic circle across the street and take as much as I wanted (rosemary grows EVERYWHERE in Seattle). But in my new neighborhood I haven't seen any "public" rosemary...instead, the closest bush is in my neighbor's yard, bordering their front door entry.
  

Do I wait and pick some up from the store? Do I swing by the old hood and snip a few branches from a perfectly respectable public source? No...I throw my coat and shoes on over my PJs, grab some scissors, and sneak into my neighbor's yard. I creep up to their front door and breathe a sigh of relief that they don't have motion-activated floodlights. I keep my head down, snip a solid five rosemary branches, and then book it down their pathway, across the street, and back into the safety of my apartment. Isn't cooking exciting??? 

Worth it

Sometimes cooking chicken gets boring. Especially if you are trying to be healthy. ENTER: rosemary-sriracha chicken (adapted from here). It comes together quickly, has a delicious, earthy, and unexpected flavor, and can sometimes cause unexpected petty crime. Let's get on with it, shall we?

You'll need:
Bone-in, skin on chicken drumsticks, thighs, or breasts.  I always do drumsticks for myself and white meat for Curtis.
1/2 c plain Greek yogurt
4 T olive oil
Juice of 1 lemon
4 T finely chopped fresh rosemary
4 T sriracha
4 cloves garlic, minced
salt and peppa (about 1/2 t each)

Generously salt and pepper chicken and place in a large ziploc. Combine all ingredients (except chicken, silly!) in a medium bowl, and then pour into the bag. Do what you gotta do to make sure the chicken is evenly coated. Place in fridge and let marinade for at least an hour...as you can read from above, I prefer if the chicken is marinated for at least 8 hours/overnight.

Frantically thrown together before going to work

Forgot about the ziploc trick - more dishes for me

Preheat oven to 375 F and line a baking sheet with foil (if you're smart and don't want to scrub dishes). Arrange the chicken evenly in a single layer - I recommend putting the bigger pieces on the edges, and the smaller pieces inside. Bake 35-40 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. At the end, broil on high for about 5 minutes, or until the skin is crispy and golden. 

I like to boil the remaining marinade and spoon over the chicken when it is done. The sauce looks pretty weird after it is boiled, but I promise it still tastes good!

Looks aren't everything???

I served this with some easy bacon-broc, which I'll post soon!

******Update: At the time this was posted, I have found a more appropriate neighborhood rosemary source that does not require trespassing.******