Not-Boring Kale Caesar

Kale salads kind of suck. No, seriously - they kind of suck. They're always the same (walnuts, cranberries, goat cheese), they're always weirdly chewy, and I usually only order them out of guilt. "Yes I'll have a jug of wine, the mozzarella sticks, and the..uh..kale salad. Thanks."

Well, ladies and gents, have I got news for you. THIS kale salad is seriously delicious and seriously not boring. In fact, it might be too much to handle for people who can't really do spice. You've been warned!

This is my version of Shutterbean's Smokey Kale Caesar Salad. I changed the ingredients a bit and eliminated all of the cheese. It's definitely good with the cheese - it's just that I didn't really notice the difference when I left it out, which means I can eat more cheese in the form of mozzarella sticks at a different time.

My biggest regret is not making the croutons when I photographed this. If you make this, dear God MAKE THE CROUTONS, PLEASE for me.

You'll need:
2 bunches of curly kale, chopped (about 10 cups)
 1 lemon, juiced

 For the dressing:
1 T red wine vinegar
1 lemon, juiced
4 cloves garlic, sliced
3 anchovy filets, chopped (don't be a wimp - just do this)
1 1/2 t dried chipotle chili powder
1 1/2 t smoked paprika
1 egg yolk (like I said...don't be a wimp)
1/4 c extra virgin olive oil 
1/4 c Greek yogurt

Mix vinegar, juice from 1 lemon, garlic, anchovies, chipotle chili powder, and smoked paprika in a bowl. Add olive oil, egg yolk, and Greek yogurt, and mix with an immersion blender until well incorporated*. It will be really thick - don't worry. Add salt and pepper to taste.

*There's a good chance you have way too much dressing now. I haven't fixed that glitch yet.

Put the chopped kale in a giant bowl and squeeze the remaining lemon juice. "Massage" the kale with your hands. The acid + your massage really helps the kale loosen up and not be as chewy and uptight. Next, add the dressing a bit at a time and mix it with your hands - about half of the dressing should do. Toss in the croutons before serving, and love life!

I wish there were croutons on  you

For the croutons:
Half loaf of good bread
Olive oil
Salt
Dried herbs (think rosemary, basil, oregano, etc.)
Garlic powder 

Preheat the oven to 350 F. Tear bread into pieces (about an inch) and place on baking sheet. Add a good drizzle of olive oil, and toss with the bread until evenly coated. Season with a good amount of salt, dried herbs, and garlic powder. Place baking tray in the oven and bake for 10 minutes - stir crouts around, and bake for another 5 minutes. Enjoy!