Fancy Fruit Salad

Want to impress your friends but not really work hard to do it? Have I got just the thing for you - fancy fruit salad. Let's test this out in a few scenarios:

Is your friend hosting a brunch and you need to bring something but don't want to work that hard?
Fancy fruit salad.

Do you have an interview and you want to impress your potential-future employers?
Fancy fruit salad.

Are you planning to go out this weekend and want to be the most popular person at the bar?
Fancy fruit salad. 

Oh my God, that's so fancy

See where I'm going with this? It's appropriate for all occasions!

So what makes this fancy, you ask? First of all, you've only got the good fruit in there. No apples, no melon, no oranges - those don't make the cut. I'm talking premium fruit here, people. The good stuff. Secondly, we really amp up the fanciness but adding some chopped fresh herbs. This takes you from Kimmy Schmidt to Lady Mary from Downton Abbey really quickly. 

You'll need:
- Pineapple (1 package of spears)
- Strawberries (1 carton, tops removed and cut in half)
- Mangoes (2, diced)
- Grapes (2 cups)
- Raspberries (1 carton)
- Blackberries (1 carton) 
- Fresh basil (start with 2 minced tablespoons and add more if needed)
- Fresh mint (start with 2 minced tablespoons and add more if needed)
- Juice from 1/2 lemon

Really, just pick any fruit that people actually want to eat. I made about 10 cups worth because this was for a 10 person brunch. Combine the fruit in a bowl and then gradually add the herbs until you reach your desired level of fancy. I suggest more herbs for brunch at a friends house, but less for an interview/night out at bars (because, you know, they might get stuck in your teeth). Finish with a squeeze of lemon. Voila!

Pinkys up

Ambitious Meatballs

For some reason, I got the idea that on New Years Eve this year I really needed to make meatballs. Does that make me a thousand years old? Yes - I think yes. However I was not deterred - I forged on, and I made the hell out of these meatballs. 

This recipe is adapted from my girl Ina. Next time, I will definitely prep/roll the meatballs a day in advance, and cook the next day. This took...a really long time. 

You'll need:
For zee meatballs
1 lb ground beef
1/2 lb ground pork
1/2 lb hot Italian sausage
1 cup fresh white bread crumbs
1/4 cup seasoned dry bread crumbs
2 Tbs minced fresh flat leaf parsley
1/2 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 egg, beaten
vegetable oil
olive oil

For zee sauce
1 Tbs olive oil
1 cup chopped yellow onion
4 cloves chopped garlic
1/2 cup red wine (whatever you're drinking as you make this)
1 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
1 Tbs chopped flat leaf parsley
2 tsp dried basil
2 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp red pepper flakes
salt (to taste)

In a large bowl, place the ground meats, both bread crumbs, parsley, parm, salt, nutmeg, egg, and 3/4 cup warm water. Lightly combine with your hands, and then form the mixture into 2 inch meatballs. I made 20 meatballs. Twenty!

Heat equal amounts of vegetable oil and olive oil into a large skillet to a depth of 1/4 inch. Once the oil is hot, carefully add meatballs (in batches) and brown them well on all sides over medium heat - about 10 minutes. Don't crowd them! Don't do it!

Untz untz

When done, remove the meatballs to a plate covered with paper towels. Discard the oil but don't clean the pan. I had to switch to a larger pot for the sauce, so I transferred the drippings into a larger sauce pan. ANYWAY - heat the olive oil in the same pan - add the onion and saute over medium heat until translucent (5-10 minutes). THEN - knock the pan on the floor. 

WHYYYYY

Take a deep breath, regroup. Add the garlic and cook for a minute, and then add the wine and cook on high heat until almost all of the liquid evaporates - about 3 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes, parsley, dried herbs, crushed red pepper, and salt. Return the meatballs to the sauce, cover, and simmer on low heat for 30 minutes (until the meatballs are cooked through). SMELLS GOOD RIGHT NOW.

I kept dumping on spices until it looked like this

I served over fresh linguine (bonus - cooks in 3 minutes) with fresh parm and torn basil. Check it out:

KISS ME AT MIDNIGHT

What you can't see is the mountain of cheesy garlic bread on the table. Diet starts Monday!!!!