Fancy Fruit Salad

Want to impress your friends but not really work hard to do it? Have I got just the thing for you - fancy fruit salad. Let's test this out in a few scenarios:

Is your friend hosting a brunch and you need to bring something but don't want to work that hard?
Fancy fruit salad.

Do you have an interview and you want to impress your potential-future employers?
Fancy fruit salad.

Are you planning to go out this weekend and want to be the most popular person at the bar?
Fancy fruit salad. 

Oh my God, that's so fancy

See where I'm going with this? It's appropriate for all occasions!

So what makes this fancy, you ask? First of all, you've only got the good fruit in there. No apples, no melon, no oranges - those don't make the cut. I'm talking premium fruit here, people. The good stuff. Secondly, we really amp up the fanciness but adding some chopped fresh herbs. This takes you from Kimmy Schmidt to Lady Mary from Downton Abbey really quickly. 

You'll need:
- Pineapple (1 package of spears)
- Strawberries (1 carton, tops removed and cut in half)
- Mangoes (2, diced)
- Grapes (2 cups)
- Raspberries (1 carton)
- Blackberries (1 carton) 
- Fresh basil (start with 2 minced tablespoons and add more if needed)
- Fresh mint (start with 2 minced tablespoons and add more if needed)
- Juice from 1/2 lemon

Really, just pick any fruit that people actually want to eat. I made about 10 cups worth because this was for a 10 person brunch. Combine the fruit in a bowl and then gradually add the herbs until you reach your desired level of fancy. I suggest more herbs for brunch at a friends house, but less for an interview/night out at bars (because, you know, they might get stuck in your teeth). Finish with a squeeze of lemon. Voila!

Pinkys up

Prosciutto and Fig Roll Ups

I have 5 recipes to post, but I chose to do this one first because I MADE A GIF! I'M A TECHNOLOGICAL GENIUS!!!! 

This is big, people. I will do everything in my power to make every post into a GIF from here on out. Blessing? Curse? Not sure yet.

Anyway - prosciutto and fig roll ups! Are you ever asked to bring an appetizer somewhere and have a weirdly hard time figuring out what to bring? Well, I do. That's where my version of these babies come in. 4 ingredients, no cooking, and everyone likes them (except for vegetarians, sawee guys). The hardest part of this recipe is peeling the prosciutto out of the pack in a single piece - if you can do that, please mentor me.

Beauty

You'll need:
1 pack of prosciutto
Small log of goat cheese
Fig jam (finally found this by the cheese display, but of course)
Arugula

Lay out the prosciutto slices on a cutting board. If they aren't too mangled when I get them out of the pack I like to cut them in half. Add 1 tablespoon of goat cheese on the top 1/3 of each slice, then follow with a teaspoon of the fig jam. If you have it, add some fresh-cracked pepper over the top. Add a bit of arugula (I used mixed greens this time), and then roll them up. If this is confusing please just stare at the GIF for a while, and then it'll all come together. Voila! You're done! Go impress your friends!

Easy Bacon Broccoli

"It's broccoli....but better!" (Trademark pending)

I noticed that my posts are primarily meat-based entrees, and that I should get some green stuff up here too. With bacon. However this is not aggressively trendy and bacony - it's just a nice addition that won't totally cancel out the fact that you're eating steamed broccoli. The real star of the show here is the apple cider vinegar - it lends the awesome tangy flavor that I think makes this worth eating. This has just a handful of ingredients and is pretty darn tasty. Give it a shot!

You'll need:
3 pieces of uncooked bacon, chopped
1/2 white onion, roughly chopped
2 heads of broccoli, stems removed and florets separated
1 or 2 T apple cider vinegar (start with one, and then decide if you'd like more!)
1/2 t garlic powder
Salt and pep (obvs)

Heat a large frying pan over medium high heat (I'd say a 7 out of 10). Add the chopped bacon and cook for about 3-4 minutes, stirring regularly.  Add the chopped onion and cook for about 5 minutes more, until onions soften and become a little translucent. Keep stirring! Add in the broccoli florets and a couple tablespoons of water to help get that steam going, and pop a lid on. When broc has reached your desired tenderness level (I like mine a little crisp - about 2-4 minutes of steaming) pop off the lid, add in the apple cider vinegar, sprinkling of garlic powder, salt and pep (to taste) and give it a mix. You're done! Now eat your vegetables!

Asian-ish Lettuce Wraps

 Ah, Asian-ish lettuce wraps. These come together super quick and are great for a weeknight dinner. I usually end up making these a lot during Bachelor/Bachelorette season, because I can mindlessly chop while watching 24 year old nannies chase love. I toss the fixins in a tupperware so everything comes together even quicker the next day. Additional bonuses include:
1. You only need one pan
2. You can add a bunch of extra veggies or none at all
3. You don't HAVE to watch the Bachelor to make these
4. This is another adapted HungryMom recipe, so you know it's good
5. This is healthyish, so you might lose 3 lbs
 

Thank you, Chris Harrison!

You'll need:
1-2 T coconut, sesame, olive oil - whatever you have 
1 lb ground turkey or chicken (sometimes I go crazy and use half and half)
2 cloves minced garlic
1 inch knob of ginger, minced
1 8 oz can water chestnuts, drained and chopped  
1-2 cups assorted chopped veggies (think carrots, celery, bell peppers, mushrooms...let your imagination run WILD)
2 Tbsp soy sauce
1/4 c hoisin sauce
1 tsp chili-garlic sauce (Sambal Oelek or sriracha both work!)

to serve:
1/4 c fresh cilantro
lime wedges
Romaine hearts

 I don't have pictures of the process because it all just happened so fast. 

Heat a large pan over medium-high heat. Add the 2 Tbsp of oil and bring to temp, then add ground turkey and let brown for a few minutes. Add ginger, garlic, and the rest of the chopped veggies and continue to stir for another 5 minutes or so, until meat is cooked through and veggies are cooked to desired level. 
Sauce time! Heyo! Add in the soy sauce, hoisin, and chili-garlic sauce and stir to combine. Throw in the drained, chopped water chestnuts and some salt (for kicks). Ok, you're done! Serve these up on romaine leaves and top with fresh cilantro, lime juice, and more sriracha.
 

Neeeki, do you assept this lettuce wrap?